Daycare

Excited about the pre-K movement and the possibility that others will enjoy early childhood care as we have.

I think parents should be vocal about what they want and need.

Published this piece in Chalkbeat on the topic:

http://ny.chalkbeat.org/2014/03/20/what-my-family-got-out-of-daycare-that-public-pre-k-could-provide/

Water

In my house, it's warm and plentiful, coming from a big showerhead in a strong, steady stream.

Running hot water is very easy to take for granted. Today I felt chilly, and took note for a moment.

I thought about whether the majority of people in the world enjoy warm running water on demand.

Certainly not.

I thought about whether everyone on the North American continent did - probably.

How about in Bosnia, in the small towns outside Sarajevo -- maybe?

In rural China -- mostly no? Actually I have no idea.

In rural Africa -- definitely no.

I realize in spite of being reasonably well traveled, marginally smart, and interested in global affairs, I honestly have no idea about these answers. I'm making it up.

It's amazing to have no idea about the conditions under which most people live, their access to water - such a fundamental part of life.

Seeing that water running without end seemed quite extraordinary, an amazing feat of civilization, infrastructure, recycling, nature, sewage control, continual planning, filtering, engineering. All the people involved, all the pipes, all the pressure, all the drains.

Gotta enjoy that shower a little more.

Breast cancer

I went to a discussion tonight that focused on the way breast cancer is viewed in Eastern Europe and in the former Yugoslavia. Women who get sick are stigmatized. It's not uncommon for their husbands to divorce them, their neighbors to refuse to touch them.

Apparently it's reminiscent of the United States some 40 years ago, before I have memories, when breast cancer was prevalent, but not spoken about and women suffered largely in silence and without nearly the range of treatment options we have today. 

The event focused on Susan G Komen,  which over that arc of decades has truly revolutionized the openness with which cancer is viewed. It looked at work that JDC is doing overseas.

Having had my mother suffer from cancer recently, and whose struggles were hard enough even with the kindness of family and strangers, and an aunt who died after five years of illness before I was born, I feel grateful to be living now, and here.

The program director in Bosnia is making measurable strides - you can see in very concrete ways the impact of education and support that she is almost single handedly leading, on the lives of countless individuals and on the society as a whole. I'm grateful to run into people like her too.

No agendas

New York gives off a very agenda'ed vibe. It's hard to meet someone without feeling they have an ulterior motive, or without having one oneself.

In fundraising that's obvious, though the best meetings are definitely ones that transcend the agenda to find real common ground. And I feel lucky to work with quite a number of people I like immensely. Those are the perfect intersections of work and pleasure - the moments when I'm so grateful for my job - and they are  deserving of a dedicated post.

At work itself, with colleagues I like, it's nearly impossible to have the non-agenda'ed take precedence over the work agenda for more than a few minutes. We can start with a quick personal check in, and linger there for a few moments, but when deadlines and emails are pressing, we've got to move on. The whole process creates the slightly negative after effect, as if it were all chit chat. In fact, with greater perspective - from the balcony, as they say - we know it's actually the other way around. The extra calls and emails and meetings pale in comparison to the personal connects.

But even meetings that have no immediate connection to work can feel agenda'ed. What do I want to get out of this? What about the other person? I've had the thoughts infringe on the most personal- friends, even my husband and kids. That's clearly destructive.

And so I am grateful today for those rare and prized non agenda'ed moments, and eager to increase them in my life.

Voting

There are lots of problems with the United States system of voting and they've been increasing in recent years. Still when I look at what is happening during these days I have to say how grateful I am that voting is nonmilitary.

That seems like a ridiculous thing to say.

The fact is that rank corruption and intimidation during elections happen regularly. It's outrageous, but it is rarely met with the outrage it deserves.

Why?

Because there is so much going on we don't have time to be outraged? Because we can't do anything about it anyway? Because our belief in the purity of our system is compromised, and we don't want to stand in a glass house throwing stones?

All true, and yet if we don't nurture the ideal, things can only get worse. More outrageous.

And if we don't stop and realize how fragile the gains of our democracy are and how quickly things can turn, we are taking them for granted.

Little hands

Always remember how my longtime boss would sometimes speak about missing those little hands. He had several kids, now grown up, and told me that he missed holding their little hands on the way to school, on the train, in the park.

That somehow sticks with me. I think about it often and feel very very grateful when I am holding one.

For the quiet

Last night I spent the evening talking and listening. It was a fascinating meeting with people I can learn from- deserving of its own special post.

But tonight I'm home, everyone is long ago in bed, and as I think about this post, I can't help noticing the quiet.

We are in the city, so quiet is not absolute  as it is in the country, where it is associated for me with good smells, deep dark nights. 

Even so, if I am still now, I can hear myself breath lightly. And there is a sense of well being, knowing that there are people nearby, in fact all over, under, to each side of this building, and down below, but right here I'm quiet alone.

What a luxury to have quiet. To breath deeply. To have a moment that is not filled.

What does quiet mean? An absence of not only sound, but adverse conditions.

I've read stories of war and the relentless noise. The noises are loud, terrible, unpredictable. The quiet is never real, just waiting for more.

And I know about more harmless noises. The screech of babies wailing. The dizzying buzz when people oversaturation happens, sometimes at small parties or in crowded restaurants. The traffic noise-especially on a crowded street during a big city rain. 

Having quiet means a place to be alone. How fortunate. I've seen families of four living in one room and read about much worse. How wonderful to have spaces and times alone.

Very very grateful

Sometimes I wonder why there is so much complacency about so much (please tell me I'm wrong here and there isn't as much as I think). And when things are going wrong, outrageously wrong, the vast majority of people who actually have a stake so often keep quiet- watching their rights being whittled away, or the rights of others.

Why?

Maybe it's because there is a lack of confidence in what we have that is good. We just don't talk about it enough. We only know how to complain.

But a strong sense of activism comes not only or even primarily from outrage, but from a passionate sense of what is good and right, what is too be desired and also protected.

So I thought I'd try to write about things for which I am grateful. Little things and big ones.

And if being grateful makes you happier - as I've read and believe - well that is a real added bonus!